WP4: Reflection
I feel like the hardest part of any project is going back to it. I always find it difficult to reflect on work that I have created, because by the time that it’s finished there are already a million things I would have done differently. What makes it harder, when dealing with my writing in this class, is that the process felt like constant reflection and development. Basically it feels weird to reflect on a reflection. Even so, there are a number of things I feel that I learned about myself, and writing, during this class, so hopefully by identifying them here, it will be easier to apply that knowledge in future projects.
As far as the role of writing in my projects, I essentially only used writing to convey my message. Even in my interview, I still translated it through writing. Looking at why I did that, why writing specifically worked for the project I was doing, has something to do with the personal development that I wanted my work to include. I have never had a diary or journal before, I have been in a few writing classes that made us do journal entries, but I always viewed that as an independent or complete assignment, not something to build upon. I think my writing acted like a diary in my posts, I did not necessarily plan out the formula of what I was going to write, I just wrote as much as I could in one sitting, and only minorly tweaked it for the finished project. Since I had the intention to challenge my opinions during the process, I already knew that I would be writing things that I wouldn’t necessarily look back on and agree with. By having the writing process feel like a journal or diary, it allowed me to be more truthful in what I was saying. I would be genuinely reflecting on and developing my opinion in the moment I was writing about it. In my specific project, I think writing played a tremendous role in allowing me to develop, and not feel bad about producing a piece with changing opinions, which is something that I never would have done before this class. My main medium is scriptwriting, which has very planned development, down to the punctuation and dialogue. Writing these projects gave me a chance to break away from the pressure that comes with creating projects, and allowed me to not only develop my topic but my personal opinions.
When considering how the role of writing made me discover something in myself, I think every project shows a new piece of personal discovery. The first piece taught me not to mistake anger with passion about a topic, because talking about something from a place of anger only limits you. I came into my WP1 with very fired up opinions, only to realize that there was nothing to build on, nothing I was saying would be helpful to the readers because they would only notice the stubbornness of the work. Using that development in WP2, I feel like I was able to use my writing to convey more information and reflection than I was able to in my first project. But more than that, a totally new thing I learned about myself in my second project, was that I am able to have discussions about my opinions and not be scared of changing them or maybe seeing a new side of the story that I didn’t want to empathize with before. This was a really important step in my project because it let me know that there was more for me to build on and learn, it wasn’t confined to one piece of writing. By my WP3, the third project, I actually felt open to the idea of development, which I think allowed me to feel much more content with the work I was doing. The third project showed me my development because for the first time in my academic writing journey, I actually felt like what I was working on was worth something. I felt like what I was saying was clear and respectful and beneficial for the readers, like someone could actually take something away from it. This felt like a huge transformation for my writing because I have never felt like my writing work had ever contributed to something before. I had always just thought my writing was for a grade and nothing more, but in this case I actually felt confident and accomplished in what I had done. The role of writing in many ways allowed me to develop myself, in both small and large instances. Overall, I feel like the biggest development is that I will go into my next projects with a new attitude.
When I decided on my topic for this class, it was really important to me that I made an effort in my work. There are plenty of ways to bullshit academic projects, to still get satisfactory grades while not actually caring about the work, but that’s not what I wanted to do here. The topic I picked is so important to me, and I felt like not making this project meaningful would be disrespectful to the victims I was talking about. If I’m going to use their stories then I should at least try to accomplish something beneficial with them. And looking back, I do feel like I accomplished that idea of challenging myself, which the act of writing allowed me to do. The freedom I felt to explore the topic and myself was the only way that this project would have worked, the only way that I felt I could actually show something helpful in the discussion of separating the art from the artist. I think all of it came together because it needed to, I needed this specific medium to help break away a longstanding fear I had. Not just the immense fear I had around my project, but the fear of trying to publicly convey my opinions, the fear of swaying my opinions. Writing actually played an important role for me because, subconsciously, I needed it to. I’m coming out of these projects knowing that my words are worthwhile and I have the ability to educate myself and keep improving and developing, some lessons that I hope will help me in all kinds of ways in the future.
